Naruto Christmas Musical
by half.hakujin
Summary: That time of year is coming up, and we all return to that Christmas classic...the Nightmare Before Christmas. The Naruto cast decides to put on a musical, strange random things happen...songfic, I guess. for Xmas 2007
1. Chapter 1 Auditions

**Wow. Apologies in advance for all the weirdness…It's in order of the movie…so far.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, people would already be singing my version of the Nightmare Before Christmas…which I also do not own.**

When Gai suggested having a Christmas musical that year, there was not a single person who wasn't thinking 'Nightmare Before Christmas." But then Gai wrangled himself the title of director. Lee was ecstatic, of course, and offered to be the stage manager - thank god Kakashi stepped in at that point.

The auditions were to be held four hours, one minute and thirty-seven seconds later. By some miracle, people appeared in the village in that time who wouldn't have made it in a week otherwise. (Cause that's the way this story works.) The Sand Sibs were there, and it seemed all of Konoha was trying out. Also, shady figures in the background were seen, most likely the missing-nin we all know and love…but we hate Orochimaru. (A/N: nothing personal. He's so cute when he's younger! But not now.)

Gai made a short, sweet, simple, understated speech before the auditions began…yeah, right!

"This musical will be the toast of the town! It will ignite the flame of passion in everyone who sees it! It will invoke tears and laughter and cheers! If you think you are good enough to create a fusion of music, dance, and acting that will burn in the hearts of anyone who is lucky enough to cherish it, you may audition now!" There was some half-hearted clapping and Lee gave his sensei a standing ovation, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"First up, we have about half of Konoha, singing 'This is Halloween.'" Gai looked up to see all the people crammed onto the small stage. Neji stepped forward (cuz he's cool like that) and addressed the panel of experts - Gai, Kakashi and, um, Kurenai. And all the jounin, except for Asuma, who was outside smoking.

"Actually, we've modified the song. It's much better this way." Suddenly, everyone trying out started to panic, and wrote out their own lyrics, not wanting to be one-upped. The Konoha citizens started their song.

_Boy and girls of every age_

_Would you like to see something strange?_

_Come with us and you will see_

_Giant faces on distant peaks_

_This is Konoha, this is Konoha_

_The strongest shinobi village_

_This is Konoha, gotta love the hot spring spas! _(A/N: RANDOM…but there seems to be a lot)

_Time and again, Orochimaru tries his best to pillage_

_It's our town_

_Everyone believes_

_In this Village, the Hidden Leaf_

_(Teuchi)_

_I am the man who runs Ichiraku_

_My daughter and I make better ramen than you!_

_(Iruka)_

_I am a teacher at the Academy_

_I teach young kids to be shinobi_

_This is Konoha, this is Konoha_

_Konoha! Konoha! Konoha! Konoha!_

_In this town we call home_

_Everyone hails Hokage (she's strong!)_

_In this town, don't we love it now?_

_Everybody's waiting for the next surprise_

_Round corners, shinobi hide where you can't see_

_They're all waiting to pounce, ambush and_

_Yeah, this is Konoha_

_Red from blood we fight voila! _(A/N: also random…)

_We always win!_

_And that's just fine_

_Say it once, say it twice,_

_No matter how you toss the dice_

_Konoha comes up on top_

_Everyone agrees, everyone believes_

_In our Village of Hidden Leaf_

_(Hiashi Hyuuga)_

_We are the great and noble Hyuuga clan_

_We reign supreme with our Byakugan_

_(Hinata)_

_I think you sound a little pretentious_

_We Hyuuga's aren't really so vicious_

_(Neji)_

_With some training that will be fixed_

_Your weak will and timidity will be nixed_

_This is Konoha, this is Konoha_

_Konoha[x6_

_Genin, listen everywhere_

_The Chuunin Exams are quite the scare_

_If you live, what does that mean?_

_You may never become chuunin_

_In this town, don't we love it now?_

_All the great ninja come from Konoha_

_We'll kick your sorry butt all the way down the block_

_This is Hidden Leaf, everyone cheer_

_Won't you please make way for our honoured Hokage_

_Tsunade is racking up quite a debt_

_Probably not good for economy_

_But whatever, this is Konoha_

_Konoha[x4_

_In this town, we call home_

_Wills of fire blaze undone_

_(La lala lalala…)_

Gai wiped tears from his eyes and proudly proclaimed this, 'the best audition yet!' Kakashi, with his trademark bored look, mumbled something about it being the _first_ audition. But no one listened to him, since his mask muffled his voice.

Kurenai rubbed her temples, the off-key singing (especially from Shizune, who was not being Tsunade's lapdog) and waved her hand for the next audition.

"'Jack's Lament', sung by…"

Everyone went all quiet when they saw Itachi Uchiha step onto the stage. Sasuke may or may not have been there, but he was being polite and civil to his brother, and letting him sing in his beautiful tenor voice.

Itachi glared at the panel, Sharingan activated…until people complained that he could make the judges think he was singing well, which was an unfair advantage. So Itachi, being a polite and civil mass murderer, shut off his eyes.

"I have also changed the words…so you may understand what I felt before the sudden, regrettable assassination of my clan… may they rest in peace." A few eyes twitched.

_There are few who deny_

_At what I do I am the best_

_For my talents are renowned far and wide_

_When it come to using weapons and a perfect aim_

_I excel without ever even trying_

_With the slightest little effort_

_Of my illusionary charms_

_I have seen great shinobi give a shriek_

_With a wave of my hand_

_You're ensnared in my mind_

_I can sweep the very strongest off their feet_

_Yet year after year, it's the same old cheer_

_And I grow so weary of Father's ideas_

_That I, Itachi, the prodigy_

_Should become ANBU like everyone thinks_

_Oh, somewhere deep behind my red eyes_

_An emptiness and rage survive_

_There's something out there, across the sky_

_A reason that I am alive_

_I'm master of Sharingan, and a jounin foregone_

_And I'll trap you in my genjutsu_

_To: a guy who wants me dead, turn back, don't risk your head_

'_Cause you know I will easily beat you_

_And since I'm Uchiha, I can kind of bend the law_

'_Cause my dad thinks he can fix me up for good_

_But what can he do, he hasn't got a clue_

_What strength I really have, is that understood?_

_But who here would ever understand_

_That the genius boy, Uchiha pride and joy_

_Does tire of his life, if they only understood_

_He'd give it all up, if he only could_

_Oh there's an empty place in my heart_

_That calls for me to soon depart_

_The fame and praise come year after year_

_Does nothing for these empty tears_

Gai clapped loudly and fire burned in his eyes. All the girls sighed and swooned as the tall, dark, handsome man left the stage. Kakashi relaxed in his chair, relieved that no one had died…yet. Kurenai blushed. A lot. She was glad Asuma was outside, and no one saw her vanish backstage.

"Next audition, we have our young Kazekage trying his hand at singing, with 'What's This.'" Gaara's fangirls cheered so loudly a few jounin went up to knock them out.

"I have also rewritten the lyrics -"

"Okay, everyone has their own lyrics! We get it!" Kurenai said suddenly. Gaara blinked slowly and continued.

"This song is about how I was feeling when Naruto beat me during the invasion of Konoha…which I forgot I was told to never bring up again…and what I was thinking, then and a bit after."

_What's this, what's this?_

_My blood is everywhere_

_What's this?_

_He fights because he cares_

_What's this?_

_He says that you are strong_

_When you belong_

_Was this the secret all along?_

_What's this?_

_What's this, what's this?_

_There's something very wrong_

_What's this?_

_How could he last this long?_

_What's this?_

_I have to bring Shukaku out to fight him_

_He has a giant fox come bite him_

_He PUNCHES ME and keeps on fighting_

_What is this? What's this?_

_This kid could never beat me_

_You can bet that he'd be dead_

_But somehow he's determined_

_And it's me losing instead!_

_Is this what I've been missing_

_Oh, I can't believe my eyes_

_But deep down I want to feel the warmth come from inside_

_Oh look, what's this?_

_His stamina's insane_

_I miss?_

_And fail to cause him pain_

_He's inspired!_

_Long as his friend is slowly dying_

_I don't think he'll ever tire!_

_What's this?_

_What's this, he fights_

_With millions of clones_

_What a sight!_

_And who would ever think_

_And why?_

_He was so terrified of me before_

_But now he runs no more_

_And there's a power deep inside_

_That's why he won't swallow his pride_

_Why won't he die, why won't he die_

_Why does he care so much for them?!!_

_What's this?_

_Oh my, what now?_

_His chakra's burning red_

_He's stuck_

_But still uses his head_

_No way_

_I'm losing to this guy, don't care if I_

_If Ichibi's strength has run dry_

_And I'm not secure inside my demon…grrr…_

_What's this?_

_My defences are all missing_

_Though his attacks are very poor_

_He takes a brutal beating_

_And returns to have some more_

_Is this the awesome power that his so-called love bestows?_

_Is this true strength, and if it is_

_Where can I get a dose?_

_So now, I try_

_To show kindness and_

_What is it, what's something worth fighting for?_

_This empty place inside of me is filling up_

_I simply cannot get enough_

_Oh I want it, oh I want it, oh I want it for my own_

_I've got to know, I've got to try_

_And find someone worth fighting for_

_What is it?_

_(Sunagakure?...Hmm)_

Screams from his revived fangirls dominated the theatre, but many others cheered for Gaara's lovely tone, the indifferent Kazekage retreating backstage, where he collected the bet money from Kankurou.

"Fantastic! This is what we're looking for!" Gai yelled, knocking Kakashi over with his exuberant gestures. Kurenai was still AWOL. And though his brother was searching for him, Itachi was also missing. (A/N: COUGAR!!!!!!)

* * *

**Thanks for reading my randomness!!! Please review and help me decide which songs to do next! Thanks :)**


	2. Chapter 2 More Auditions

**Okay, I said it was going in the movie's order… but I couldn't think of anything…my brain is frozen by winter. So, here ya go…And thanks to my 1 reviewer - you rock! . **

**And I just realized that Asuma is kinda dead. Oh well. Oops! Sorry if that was a spoiler…**

**Disclaimer: I own neither Naruto nor Nightmare. XD**

Sakura was next up, and she hoped that the mysterious figure from the left really was him, since she was singing this song for him.

"I'm singing Sally's Song…almost."

_I sense there's something in the wind_

_That feels like tragedy's at hand_

_And though I'd like to run to him_

_He'd shake me off, he always has_

_The worst is just around the bend_

_And does he notice, my feelings for him_

_And does he care, my feelings won't be spared_

_If he won't let it be_

_What will become of my dear friend?_

_Where will his actions lead him then?_

_Orochimaru wants his skill_

_And steal his body if he will_

_Try as I may, he leaves the town_

_He disappears, only my tears_

_Comfort me now, what will my love become?_

_I guess I'm not the one_

Gai threw roses onto the stage (woah, where did those come from?) and cheered for the pinkette as she walked off the stage, squinting into the dark of backstage for her future husband. She had a ten-year plan, and dammit, she wasn't going to be thrown off by this!

Kakashi was reading his pervy book, seeing as Sakura had no individuality to speak of and wasn't as interesting as the previous auditioners. (Wait, weren't they all guys? Oh well…)

Kurenai, who had returned, whooped and said something about girl power. (Oddly enough, Itachi had just run into his younger brother and was attempting to gouge his eyes out.) (A/N: OMG I just read chapter387 I swear I didn't know that when I wrote this!!!!!!)

"Next up is Temari and Shikamaru…"

"I convinced him to sing, but he said a whole song would be 'troublesome,'" Temari explained, rolling her eyes, "so we're only singing that little Jack/Sally duet in the very end." Shikamaru scowled. (But he was way excited inside, like hopping up and down. You can bet on it.)

(A/N: to InosBane - wow, you were right, I really didn't need to change anything; it suits them so well…just a few lines…)

_(Shikamaru)_

_My newfound love, if you don't mind_

_  
I'd like to join you by your side_

_  
Where we can gaze up at the clouds_

_(Both)_

_  
And sit together, now and forever_

_  
For it is plain, as anyone can see_ (A/N: except for ShikaIno supporters - I'm sorry, I just can't see them together.)

_  
We're simply meant to be_

Kankurou punched a fist into his palm, ready to pound that little dork into the ground. He was 3 years younger than her! (But no one his age is as smart as him - and what's a relationship without conversation?)

Gai didn't really know either of these two, so he didn't cheer as loud as before…but he felt everyone deserved a piece of his spirit of youth. Kakashi kind of checked Temari out, then shrugged and returned to his book.

For some reason, Asuma had returned from smoking, and he wiped a non-existent tear from his eye, watching Shikamaru. They grew up so fast!

"So that makes the next audition…"

Orochimaru slithered (not literally) onto the stage to gasps and glares all around. He smiled thinly at his observers.

"My song is about my indestructibility and I even have some lucky pris- uh, volunteers, to sing backup and add a part about my dangerous exper- I mean, my perfectly safe…analyses…yeah." Anko, in the background, spat on the floor. Said prisoners were dragged to the stage in chains. "Remember, if you do this, you go free," Orochimaru said sweetly, crossing his fingers.

_Well well well, what have we here?_

_Shinobi, oooh I'm really scared._

_Yes, I'm the one everyone's talking about, ha ha ha_

_You're joking, you're joking_

_I can't believe my eyes_

_You sent these fools to capture me_

_These can't be the right guys_

_They're young and they're stupid_

_They must be your village's worst!_

_I might teach them a lesson if I don't die laughing first_

_When Lord Orochimaru says there's trouble close at hand_

_You better pay attention now, and run back to your land_

_And if you aren't shaking, then something's very wrong_

_Cause this might be your last day_

_You certainly won't last long_

_Woah…woah…woah…_

_I'm Lord Orochimaru_

_Well if I'm feeling antsy, and there's nothing much to do_

_I might just cook up a new drama to make you suffer through_

_And don't you know the one thing that'd make it work so nice?_

_Stealing away your friend Sasuke to add a little spice_

_Woah…woah…woah…_

_I'm Lord Orochimaru_

_(Prisoners)_

_Release us now or you will have to pay the dire consequences!_

_These experiments aren't helping you_

_So please come to your senses!_

_(Orochimaru)_

_You're joking, you're joking_

_I can't believe my ears!_

_You better shut your freakin' trap_

_Or you won't last a year_

_It's funny how you think_

_I'll have a change of heart_

_And now, without permission_

_I'm going to do my part_

_(Prisoners)_

_Well, what are you gonna do?_

_(Orochimaru)_

_I'm gonna use you if I can_

_[prisoners scream_

_The sound of tortured souls is like music in the air_

_I gamble with the outcomes, don't care if it's not fair_

_It's just more fun, I must admit_

_When lives are on the line_

_Not mine, of course, but yours_

_I think that that would be just fine_

_(Prisoners)_

_Release us fast_

_Or you will have to answer for this heinous act!_

_(Orochimaru)_

_Oh brother, you're something!_

_You put me in a spin_

_You aren't comprehending _

_The position that you're in_

_It's hopeless, you're finished, you haven't got a prayer_

_Cause I'm Lord Orochimaru, and you ain't going no where_

"You said we could go free!" one desperate chained shinobi said, and the snake man laughed.

"When have I ever kept my promises?" he asked maliciously, and Sasuke agreed. _'He said he had candy! And a Wii! To hell with power, I wanted video games!'_

Gai was already attempting to strangle the evil coughpedophilecough but he was failing miserably. Kakashi, ever bored, started charging up a Chidori, as Tsunade (standing conveniently in the background) mentally slapped herself for ever liking him.

"Meet you back home, Sasuke!" Orochimaru cackled, disappearing into the ground. (Maybe he learned that from Zetsu in his Akatsuki days?)

o.O O.o

Reviewers get…Sasuke's candy! Please review with ideas…I'm running on empty here!


	3. Chapter 3 Yet More Auditions

**Okay, I brought back some characters because I needed to fill some gaps in the song. :) And ignore the bad spacing...something is very wrong with my computer.**

**Disclaimer: The claimer is dissed.**

The next auditions (passed over because they were unknown characters) were so horrible that Gai took a bit too many aspirin and became even loopier than he usually was. Kakashi started sleeping, and Kurenai started writing 'Mrs. Asuma Sarutobi' all over her clipboard like a twelve-year-old Sakura. (Except Sakura was writing Sasuke Uchiha…ew, that would've been creepy, ne?)

As the mysterious shadows entered the light for their audition, it was seen that it was Akatsuki, even the members we thought were dead. Except Sasori. He can stay dead.

"Welcome, friends!" Gai slurred, evidently losing his mind. "We're glad to have you here!" All the good jounin were either sleeping or too bored to attack the known dangerous shinobi. "What will you sing today?"

"Making Christmas…" Deidara said, since he was the most sociable of the Akatsuki. Itachi was apparently singing with the organization, even after his solo. He was afraid of losing his job…this was like a company picnic or something. You HAD to participate.

_This time, this time  
Taking Bijuu, taking Bijuu  
_

_(Leader…is it Pein?)  
Taking Bijuu, taking Bijuu  
Is so fine  
_

_(All)  
They're ours this time  
And won't jinchuuriki be surprised  
They're ours this time  
Taking Bijuu, taking Bijuu  
Taking Bijuu  
Time to get power for free  
Don't care for dead jinchuuriki  
Let's each steal one or two tailed beats  
We will use them well  
Taking Bijuu, taking Bijuu _

(Hidan and Kakuzu)  
Cats, tanuki, turtle-y-things

_They're dead and gone, eyes opening_

_(All)  
They're ours this time  
All together, that and this  
With all our tricks we're_

_Taking Tailed Demons  
…  
Here comes Pein! _

(Pein)  
I don't believe what's happening to me  
My hopes, my dreams, my fantasies  
-insane laughter-

(Tobi!!!)  
Won't they be impressed, I am a genius  
I beat that three-tails up, no sweat  
With Tobi here, no cause to fret

(Deidara)  
Hmm, I think your ego's much too big 

_I was the one that took him in_

_I wish I had a substitute_

_Someone instead of this dumb kid_

_Hmph, no no no, this is all wrong_

_I wish Sasori was alive_

_I wouldn't have to be stuck_

_With this annoying, brain-dead guy!_

_Oh dear god, I'll just give up _

(All)  
All together, that and this  
With all our tricks we're 

_Taking Tailed Demons  
This time, this time  
Taking Bijuu, taking bijuu_

_La, la, la  
It's almost here  
And we can't wait  
So ring the bells and celebrate  
'Cause when the last demon arrives_

_We'll all be in charge_

_(Pein)_

_The world is mine!_

…_I mean ours._

"Brilliant, a superb performance about truly awe-inspiring ideals," Gai wept and held up a paddle saying '10.' "What do you think, my eternal rival Kakashi?"

"……zzzZZZZzzZZZzzzzzZZZZ…"

"Ah, anyway, the next audition is the Sound Four," Gai said brightly, as the four (strangely also alive) shinobi clambered onstage. "What sound will grace our unprotected ears today?"

"Kidnap the Sandy Claws," Sakon/Ukon grinned. "Except it's really Kidnap the Uchiha." He laughed menacingly, as did they all, except Tayuya, who rolled her eyes. Somewhere, Sasuke also rolled his eyes. They didn't _really_ kidnap him.

_Kidnap Sasuke Uchiha?_

_(Sakon)  
I wanna do it _

(Kidoumaru)  
Let's draw straws

(Tayuya)  
We're supposed to work together 

_Sound Four, idiot_

_Do you remember?_

_Seems like forever…_

_(All)__  
La, la, la, la, la…  
__Kidnap the Uchiha_

_Lock him up real tight_

_Throw away the key and then  
Turn off all the lights _

(Jirobo)  
First, we're going to set some bait  
Show him power, make him wait  
When he comes a-sniffing we will  
Snap the trap, we can't be late!

(Sakon)  
Wait, we need a better plan 

_With him, things could get out of hand_

_Let's just give him the poison pill_

_And when he's gone we'll bring him back_

_  
(All)  
Kidnap the Uchiha  
Throw him in a box  
Tell him that he has to die  
Then see if he walks _

(Kidoumaru)  
Then Orochimaru-sama  
Can take the whole thing over then  
He'll be so pleased, I do declare,  
That we've got him snared 

_  
(Jirobo)  
I say that we just knock him out_

_It's time to take drastic means_

_No fuss, no drugs, no time wasted_

_He will see stars in his dreams _

(Sakon)  
You're so stupid, think now  
If he doesn't go to Level 2 

_It's our heads on the line if_

_He's not ready for Orochimaru _

(All)  
Kidnap the Uchiha  
Make him doubt his strength 

_Talk him into leaving and_

_Keep him at arm's length _

(Tayuya)  
Because Lord Orochimaru is the meanest guy around  
If I were on his murder list, I'd get out of town

(Kidoumaru)  
He'll be so pleased by our success  
That he'll reward us too, I bet

(All)  
Perhaps he'll make us stronger still  
Until we've had our fill 

_Yes!!!  
We're his little henchmen  
And we take our job with pride  
We do our best to please him  
And stay on his good side _

(Tayuya)  
I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb

(Sakon)  
I'm not the dumb one

(Jirobo)  
You're no fun

(Tayuya)  
Shut up!

(Kidoumaru)  
Make me

(Sakon)  
I've got something, listen now  
This one is real good, you'll see  
We'll beat him to a bloody pulp 

_And tell him that he's way too weak_

_Next, we'll say our Lord has the key _

(All)  
Until his curiosity  
Entices him to leave the Leaf  
And then we'll have him  
One, two, three  
Kidnap the Uchiha, beat him with a stick 

_Sure to drive him crazy, we all know what makes him tick  
Kidnap the Uchiha, be careful, don't be shoddy_

_Lord Orochimaru is sure to steal his body  
Kidnap the Uchiha, see what we will see  
Lock him in a cage and then throw away the key_

Sasuke made a mental note to kill them _again_. That song was full of lies and insults…just like his childhood. He left to sulk in his emo corner. Sakura approached him with a giant butterfly net.

"We have one more audition before this chapter ends," Gai said gaily. "So let's all give a warm welcome to that Sai kid!"

Sai stepped onto the stage, his fake smile shaking slightly. "I'm singing something's up with Jack, but Naruto convinced me to change the lyrics. He said he'll sing the parts at the beginning…I'm sorry I'm letting him." Spectators groaned, since Naruto sounded like a cat with a migraine…and a cold.

_(Naruto)_

_Something's up with Sai  
Something's up with Sai  
Don't know if we'll ever get to see him cry  
He's just an empty stare  
Locked up his inside  
When he starts to speak  
I wish that he had died  
Something's up with Sai  
Something's up with Sai _

(Sai) 

_These new thoughts are buzzing in my skull  
Will they let me be? I cannot tell  
There are so many things I cannot grasp  
When I think I've got it, and then at last  
Through my puzzled fingers it does slip  
Like a snowflake in a fiery grip _

Something's here I'm not quite getting  
Though I try, I keep forgetting  
Like a memory long since past  
Here in an instant gone in a flash  
What does it mean?  
What does it mean?

In these little expressions  
An answer to all my questions  
These gestures, they confuse me so  
Confound it all, I love it though

Simple feelings, nothing more  
Bout something's hidden through a door  
Though I do not have the key  
Something's there I cannot see  
What does it mean?  
What does it mean?  
What does it mean?  
Hmm...

I've read these theory books so many times  
I know the looks and subtle signs  
I know the reasons someone smiles 

_I've pored over these endless files  
As often as I've read them, something's wrong  
So hard to put my pallid finger on _

Or perhaps it's not quite as deep  
As I've been led to think  
Am I trying much too hard?  
Of course! I've been too close to see  
The answer's right in front of me  
Right in front of me

It's simple really, very clear  
Like music drifting in the air  
Invisible, but everywhere  
Just because I cannot see it  
Doesn't mean I can't believe it

You know, I think this 'feeling' thing  
Is not as tricky as it seems  
And why should they have all the fun?  
It should belong to anyone

Not anyone, in fact, but me  
Why, I can fake sorrow or glee  
And there's no reason I can find  
I couldn't handle being kind

I bet I could convince them, too  
And that's exactly what I'll do  
Eureka! I've got it 

"Sai, I…I didn't know you had it in you," Gai sobbed. "I am deeply moved! Perhaps you would like a green jumpsuit?" Sai ran away, the insane jounin chasing him, and seemingly attempting to strangle him with a piece of green rubber.

O.o

Um……review and you DON'T get a green jumpsuit…muahahahahaha…


	4. Chapter 4 And the Last Auditions

**Short chapter, and the spacing is weird again…Merry Christmas everyone!!!!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

"Well, there's only one person left to try out! Naruto, come on doooooown!" (Price is right :) also not mine…)

"Alright, everyone else took my songs, so I guess I'll sing that one at the end…Poor Jack." Suddenly speakers crackled, and a voice that was undoubtedly Kakashi's blared over loudspeakers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please don your earplugs now, unless you want to be in more pain than I was is Tsukiyomi. Thank you and try to enjoy this performance." Naruto turned red.

"I'm not that bad!" he yelled, and started singing.

_What have I done, what have I done?  
How could I be so blind?  
All is lost, where was I?  
Spoiled all, spoiled all  
Everything's gone all wrong _

What have I done?  
What have I done?  
Find a deep cave to hide in  
In a million years they'll find me  
Only dust and a scroll  
That reads, "Here Lies Naruto."

But I never intended to let him go, never  
And nobody really understood, well how could they?  
That I did my best to save him and it hurts that he's gone  
Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?  


(Out of nowhere, Sasuke pops up onstage to save everyone from Naruto 'singing'…GO SASUKE!!!! XD)

_  
Well, what the heck, you went and did your best  
And for a moment your friendship nearly pulled me in  
But I really do need strength to avenge my clan  
And understand - it's just a new beginning, it is _

And for the first time since Itachi betrayed me  
I felt like this loser was my friend - family  
But I, Sasuke Uchiha  
That's right, I have a brother to kill!

And I just can't wait until we meet again  
'Cause I've got some new jutsu that'll really surprise them  
And, by God, Itachi is gonna feel my might  
After that, I'll have time to set things right  
Goodbye, dobe… 

And he disappeared…how random…and why was Sakura tangled up in a butterfly net backstage? Kakashi removed his earplugs with relief, and Gai, the only one without earplugs, applauded Sasuke, the audience crying because they hadn't heard Sasuke's angelic voice…

"Okay, I think that was the last audition, right?" Kurenai said hopefully.

"I haven't gone yet!" came a strange, muffled voice, and there on the stage was Gai-sensei in a ridiculous disguise (see episode 193 in the filler arc). He started to sing 'Old Macdonald' and was booed off the stage, only Lee supporting him.

"Thank you everyone for trying out, this is going to be very difficult…" Kakashi announced. "Alright, let's sing to fill this chapter!" More sweatdrops…

(A/N: 'Town Meeting', more or less…I wanted to include some people who weren't in it at all)

_(Kakashi)_

_Everyone, listen!_

_There were tryouts so peculiar, they were not to be believed_

_But this is called fanfiction after all_

_There's talent unlike anything we've ever seen_

_And as hard as we try, can't seem to decide_

_Who should be our star, our lead_

_So you must listen while we tell you this_

_Whoever jumps in with lyrics will be crowned the best!_

_(Kiba - to Akamaru)_

_This is a thing called a leash_

_So, do you want it or not?_

_Behave, or you'll find_

_You're in a bit of a tight bind_

_Alright, will you make up your mind?_

_(Shino)_

_If you please_

_Bugs are much easier to handle_

_And the whole thing suits me just fine_

_(erm…anyone…)_

_Ew, bugs? But why?_

_How ugly!_

_They're in you, they're in you?_

_(Shino)_

_That's the point of this, guys_

_They serve few_

_It's so great_

_They won't bite_

_It's my fate_

_To use them_

_And my power, you know it's from bugs that it stems_

_(Kiba)_

_That's really weird, we're agreed_

_Oh man, this guy is such a freak_ (A/N: no offence to Shino, he's awesome!)

_(Kakashi)_

_NEXT!_

_(Chouji)  
We pick up an over-sized pork  
And shove it like this is your mouth _

(Ino)  
Oh, gross! See it's not fully cooked  
I can't bear one more look  
It's still raw and fat-covered with gook

(Chouji)  
Hmm, let me explain  
We eat fish raw all the time  
And who can wait when you're hungry?  
Mmm, pork 

_Take a bite of this snack_

_Or flavour you'll lack_

_Or perhaps I'll just eat it myself out of greed! _

(Ino, sarcastically)  
What a splendid idea  
Pigging out sounds so fun  
Snap out of it, Chouji  
God, you're such a dunce  


_(Chouji)  
Ino-chan, please now, not so fast  
There's something here that you don't quite grasp_

_  
(Kakashi)_

_Ah, well, may as well give 'em what they want  
And the cast, decision passed, here it is at long last_

_For the star of our musical  
Is a fearsome man with a deep mighty voice  
Itachi takes the leading role!  
And it's also been chosen  
Sakura really unfroze us  
So it's she who'll be Sally!  
The cast list is posted, with everyone on_

_Go and find your part, rehearsals start soon_

_And tryouts end, what a finale!_

_And on a dark cold night_

_Under full moon light_

_We will play out the show_

_Like professional actors_

_Konoha, let's do our best!_

O.o

Then end! Thanks for reading!!


End file.
